As life passes, 24 hours at a time, I find myself examining what really makes me feel alive, where my passion lies, and what I am learning. What I know and understand now, today, February 28, 2011 that I didn't know at this time last year, that I didn't know 6 months, ago...or even 6 weeks ago, are ever-evolving. Here are just a few.
1. I really am becoming more introverted over time. I was always an extreme extrovert, and still am at times, but have taken on a more passive role in many situations. It's growth, I believe. Sometimes it benefits you to sit back and listen, not speak, and take it all in, rather than open your mouth seeking approval, validation, or understanding. Many times it's just not worth it. Knowing when to shut up, is every bit as valuable as knowing when to speak. (yes, I am just now learning this.)
2. Rarely do I feel more alive, than when I travel. I have a lust to see things, to experience things, to appreciate all that has been placed on this earth, good or bad. Travel awakens my soul, and allows me to acknowledge my smallness in this world, while seeing sights that make my eyes fill with wonder. It's a time to reprogram ourselves from the normal, and look at culture, where it's been and where it's going. Utterly fascinating.
3. When your heart is broken, the healing takes a toll on you, but in time you WILL heal. It is ok to allow yourself to forget the hurt, no guilt befalls you when you have exhausted all your options of forgiveness, and turn the brokenness over to the the Healer. When you have been made to feel guilt and shame all your life, and have been freed from that hold, you can then, truly live.
4. Doing something for others gives me more satisfaction than anything I could possibly ever do for myself. While everyone loves to pamper themselves with the occasional pedicure, and "just for me" time, there is something so satisfying about serving the less fortunate. I at first, loved the "warm fuzzy" this gave me, but later realized what I was doing was so pleasing to Jesus, probably more than anything else I could ever do. That feeling of spiritual satisfaction I crave, and is addicting. Knowing Jesus loves my actions is a peace that is indescribable.
5. People treat you differently when you are overweight, than when you aren't. I have been on both sides of this, it's really true. A great litmus test of who is legit in your life, and who isn't.
6. I am not in control, of anything, except my own reactions, attitudes, thought processes, and actions. Everything else, is beyond my control. This can either cause me great distress if I allow it to, or I can allow the joy of powerlessness to wash over me. It's a choice. Some days are better than others with this. It's the ultimate test in faith, and I fail miserably alot of the time. Thankfully, God is always there to pick up the pieces or let me fall on my face to learn from it. Either way, He's there.
7. People that are not really listening when you speak, usually do not really care about you or your life, do not waste your breath. It's futile. They consequently, will expect you to listen to them. Listen and nod. Listen and nod. ;) Then smile, deep breath.
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8. Not everyone is where you are, and you aren't always where they are spiritually. Don't beat yourself up over this fact. We are all on a journey to walk with Christ, some are closer to the destination than others. What's important is that we are patient with each other on this path, and don't get a case of "road rage". The Beatitudes are really great to help me remember this.
9. If you have the ability to help someone or listen, do it. Easy enough, it takes us all out of "self" for a bit. Loving others makes them feel special. In a world where we are all searching for the next thing to make us feel good about ourselves, truly a little kindness goes a long way. The best thing you can do for a friend is give them your time. Give them a call and ask how they are. Genuineness is felt in the heart.
10. Never judge someone by their Facebook posts or text messages. So much context and intonation can be lost in translation through our typed words. A real conversation is the only true way to know someone. I'm guessing the next generation will have some type of media revolt called "kill your Facebook" for this very reason. At some point, people will get tired of the shallow interactions of social media; I predict people will crave real relationships. (I have yet to tire of it, don't get me wrong ;) -ha.
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